maizeydaze - Since I'm single I do all the housework,as I said in an early post.. I've been cooking my laundry and washing my dinner for a long time. I can iron the dishs and fry a bowl of soup.I just can't figure out why the dishs keep breaking when I put them in the washing machine,I always set it to the delicate cycle?
for the men
(218 posts) (22 voices)-
scubaguy (R.I.P.)
MemberPosted 16 years ago # -
Butch
MemberI got a good one for ya!
A man is driving along a freeway at a steady 50km/h with his wife when she suddenly looks at him and says in a clear voice:
"Darling I know we've been married for 20 years but I want a divorce."The husband says nothing, keeps looking at the road and slowly increases his speed to 65km/h.
The wife says: "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it because I've been having an affair with your best friend and he's a far better lover than you are."
Again the husband says nothing but grips the steering wheel more tightly and increases the speed to 80km/h.
"I want the house," his wife says insistently, pushing her luck. The speedo goes up to 95km/h. "And I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete overpass.
This makes the wife a little nervous, so she asks, "Isn't there anything you want?"The husband replies in a quite and controlled voice, "No, I've got everything I need."
Oh really, so what have you got?" asks his wife.
Just before they slam into the wall at 110km/h, the husband turns to her and smiles.
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."The airbag."!!!!!!
Posted 16 years ago # -
Butch
MemberOh, hey! I got another one! HA! HA!
A fourth-grader was excited that he had tried out and gotten a role in his school's play. His father was really proud of him and asked, "So, what part did you get?"
The little boy replies, "I got the part of a man who's been married for 25 years."
His father congratulated him said “That’s good son. Maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”
Posted 16 years ago # -
Butch
Membercopmom, why are you picking on me? I didn't see nothing in the rules about no pictures.
Here's something kinda funny.
Wife: "I mended that hole in your pocket last night after you'd gone to bed, dear. Now, I ask you, am I not the thoughtful little wife?"
Husband: "Well, yes, you're thoughtful enough, but tell me, dear, how did you discover there was a hole in my pocket?"
Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
Memberscubaguy, sorry, I forgot. That's why all us ladies were trying get attract your attention awhile ago. Did you see the superb underwater HD videos that I posted on the Nature thread? I was thinking of you when I found them.
Posted 16 years ago # -
copmom
MemberButch, not trying to 'pick on you'.. and no, I didn't see anything about no pictures either in the rules.
Maybe it's because originally several of us were going to post pics of ourselves and the others had to guess who it was.. then we decided against it. No telling where on the internet they would turn up!
Posted 16 years ago # -
scubaguy (R.I.P.)
Membermaizeydaze - Something isn't working because this is where I end up when following the links,and can't find any videos.
Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
Memberscuba, I just posted a new link to some videos on the Nature thread. Apparently, that first link isn't working correctly yet. The site isn't up and running yet, from what I gathered. The new link has some great videos. Check it out.
Posted 16 years ago # -
scubaguy (R.I.P.)
MemberThanks maizey, just watched a few of them,great stuff.Makes me want to go diving right now,can't wait for the weather to break.Have had so much rain here lately and that makes underwater visibility next to zero.
I bookmarked the site,think I'll go and watch some more.I still think I should have been born with gills.Edit
Just had to post this video on sharks from the site maizey linked to.It shows the true nature of these magnificent creatures,instead of how they are usually portrayed.Especially with the recent attack in Florida that will most likely produce a killing spree by the locals.Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
Memberscuba, glad you liked them...gills or no gills. :)
Posted 16 years ago # -
CreamyPretzel
MemberA man noticed that his wife seemed to be having some problems that might need medical attention. He took her to the doctor, and after the examination, the doctor took the man aside and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS."
The man asked the doctor, "How will I know which one she has?"
The doctor thought for a moment and then replied, "On the way home, drop her off about a block from your house. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her!"
Posted 16 years ago # -
Ok, fellas ... here ya go:
The Art of Manliness
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
Home Inspection Nightmares
Only Slightly Better Than Working At McDonald's
Dumb Ideas That Made a LOT of MoneyEnjoy :}
Posted 16 years ago # -
CreamyPretzel
MemberThe art of manliness....showing men's abs? I think this thread is taking a strange but not unforeseen twist.
Posted 16 years ago # -
Robert
StrayCatBobby,
(Only Slightly Better Than Working At McDonald's )A High Voltage Cable Inspector being afraid of...women.
No woman no cry?
:)Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
MemberBobby, love the home inspections. I think I want a job doing that. But, in the "Dumb Ideas" list, I don't agree with "Doggles" being dumb. What's wrong with protecting your dogs eyes. I've considered buying some for my old, blind dog so she won't get her eyes poked or scratched when we take walks in the woods. The picture they show is not the type I was looking at. Here are their Eye Protection for Dogs, goggle style glasses. :)
Posted 16 years ago # -
Robert
StrayCatFor men only:
Sabrina SalernoI like this vid ,don't know why..
It must be the male voice ;)
(Watch the guy with the dark glasses)Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
MemberRobert, you don't think they are lip syncing, do you? Have you even looked at their faces to notice?
Posted 16 years ago # -
Robert
StrayCatFor men only:
Anouk - GirlI still can't figure it out what those red creatures are in the background.. :)
I will leave the lip syncing proof test to Maizey.
(We men get easily distracted)Posted 16 years ago # -
Archangel
MemberOk boys and girls. Here are a series of questions for the ladies but the men will get a kick out of it. Ladies please think about the question before answering and I'll log in and answer it or tell which one got it correct and ask the next one. Here it goes:
What do you have when you have nuts on the wall?
Posted 16 years ago # -
RunesageMagik
MemberLee, I've been asked to step in and raise the bar of this discussion at least as high as that of the democratic candidates' posturing and pandering about their non-electability. The following brain and vision topics are for men only.
Cranial Androgyne. Which half of your noggin do you use? (this assumes you have a brain) Men/Mars - Women/Venus
This official military spotter's camouflage detection picture demonstrates why men are hunters, not nesters. Men have excellent powers of observation and analytical differentiation. We can quickly discern what is important within our field of vision. Fact: 99.94% of males mumble, "What boat, I don't see a boat?" after scanning the photo for 30-seconds.
FWIW- Did anyone get in on the hot IPO for the Men's Only Optometry Centres? Their eyechart is a huge hit. You might say sales of the charts have been flying off the walls. Granted, the company's 10-k does raise a point that might destabilize the soaring stock. So far, the FDA has been too distracted by lasik failure data analysis to question MOOC's claim that their chart is a "medical device" and thus Medicare-deductible.
This video demonstrates that communication between men and women transcends language. Doubtful any red-blooded male watching it will experience any urge whatsoever to grab a French-English dictionary. The near-unanimous reaction in a recent Gallooop Poll - "Who cares what she's saying? Just LOOK at her!" So, ladies, when your man doesn't seem to understand what you're saying, TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT... he's obviously lost in desire. (okay, maybe he's just replaying the video in the right half of his brain)
Posted 16 years ago # -
CreamyPretzel
MemberRunesagemagi said:
"Lee, I've been asked to step in and raise the bar of this discussion at least as high as that of the democratic candidates' posturing and pandering about their non-electability. "
Non-electability? You must be referring to a country other than the U.S..
Posted 16 years ago # -
CreamyPretzel
MemberI noticed the "for the ladies" thread hasn't had an entry in 16 hours! Wonder where they all are??? (Hi ladies!)
Posted 16 years ago # -
maizeydaze
MemberArchangel. I'll answer this one, but I refuse to answer your 3rd question! You are BAD!
#2 - Chestnuts
Posted 16 years ago # -
Robert
StrayCatRune
Here's a comment I read about your last vid:(the Melissa Theuriau Compilation)
Quote
I wonder how many French males know what's actually going on in the news. :)
UnquoteBut to be honest,I seem to be having the same problem trying to listen to the weather forecast...
Dan
Beware of those ladies of the night..
Posted 16 years ago #
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