Giveaway of the Day Forums

1. 

   NolafromNZ
   Member

   I just found this on the Make Use Of site, credited to utdallas.edu.

   Error Messages From Japan:

   Here are 16 actual error messages seen on the computer screens in Japan, where they are written in Haiku.
   Aren't these better than, "your computer has performed an illegal operation"?

   .......................................................
   The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.
   -------------------------------------------------
   A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
   -------------------------------------------------
   Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
   -------------------------------------------------

   I really wish I could see some of these error messages, I'd at least get a laugh while gnashing my teeth and groaning in despair, lol.

   Posted 15 years ago #
2. 

   notblocklox
   retired

   Oh yes, I really could use a laugh, and this was a very good laugh. Thanks, Nola!

   Posted 15 years ago #
3. 

   Buckleysmom
   Member

   I did not hit you.....I simply high-fived your face.

   --------------------------------

   Some people are like Slinkies, they're really good for nothing....
   but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

   Posted 15 years ago #
4. 

   Inas
   Member

   As quoted from AhaJokes.com Site

   "Learning Chinese terms-Crash Course in Speaking Chinese
   Chinese Phrase English Translation"

   Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table

   Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift

   Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention

   Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field?

   Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive

   Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host

   Kum Hia: Approach me

   Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island

   Lao Ze: Not very good

   Lin Ching: An illegal execution

   Moon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space program

   Ne Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

   Shai Gai: A bashful person

   Tai Ne Bae Be: A premature infant

   Tai Ne Po Ne: A small horse

   Ten Ding Ba: Serving drinks to people

   Wan Bum Lung: A person with T.B.

   Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

   Wa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobile

   Wai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?

   Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice

   Posted 15 years ago #
5. 

   Bobby
   Member

   The Toughest Road Surface Of Them All

   A piece of road walks into a bar and declares to all its occupants: "I'm the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole of this town!"

   The piano player stops and the bar goes deadly silent. After a brief pause, all eyes drop, the pianist returns to playing and the piece of road saunters up to the bar and orders a beer.

   At that precise moment, in walks a piece of freeway which says: "I'm the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole country and I'll take you on!"

   The tension mounts, other drinkers scatter and take cover. The two braggarts stood, staring at each other, for what seemed like an eternity.

   Once again, the door opens and, into the middle of the stand-off, walks a strange-looking piece of coloured bitumen with a blue stripe. Suddenly, the stand-off is forgotten! The now-sheepish braggarts turn their backs to the door, sit down at the bar and stare quietly into their drinks.

   The bartender sidles up to them and asks what the problem is. "Shhhh!", says the freeway, "Watch what you say, that guy's a real cycle path."

   Posted 15 years ago #
6. 

   notblocklox
   retired

   Some of us are missing a chit-chat forum, this is just one of many :)
   Let's reactivate them.
   Scanning through this thread, I had to LOL and ROFL all the afternoon.
   Some of our friends are gone. So is Bobby, I miss her jokes; hopefully she has a happier time now.

   graylox

   Posted 14 years ago #
7. 

   notblocklox
   retired

   

   Posted 14 years ago #
8. 

   notblocklox
   retired

   

   http://www.boardgamegeek.com/image/682688/aldie

   Posted 14 years ago #
9. 

   wizzard_of_ozz2004
   Games Master

   haha that comic is perfect for rabbit....oh if his wife only knew some of the stuff he's bought...

   Posted 14 years ago #
10. 

    copmom
    Member

    I've been shredding old files and paperwork from the 1990's and you should see all the receipts I've found for all the old programs, games, and clip art that I paid good money for! Yikes! Still have most all of them on small floppies. What am I saving all that 'stuff' for?

    Posted 14 years ago #
11. 

    HOSS
    Member

    Ramblings of a Retired Mind

    * I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
    phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford
    one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my
    hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
    * You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
    people didn't like me anyway.
    * I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands
    on beer cans!
    * I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you
    still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce
    it.'
    * I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call
    it 'Pumping Rust'.
    * I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest
    is falling into your drawers!
    * When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you
    got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
    * Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in
    case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!
    * Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
    are we supposed to do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their
    pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
    they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking
    their pictures!
    * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
    more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for
    their finals.
    * As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

    Posted 14 years ago #
12. 

    Quantum Dragon
    Member

    Some comic relief from the province of Quebec:

    Toyota Prius and the Hybrid stopping

    http://ygreck.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5dd653ef0120a867088f970b-popup

    The Quebec health care system ( On the bottom right, it says, start here, Good Luck )

    http://ygreck.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5dd653ef01310f827c1c970c-popup

    Quebec Prime Minister Charest struggling to keep his new year's resolutions

    http://ygreck.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5dd653ef0120a79e31f6970b-popup

    And finally Johnny Hallyday hospitalized in the U.S.A.

    http://ygreck.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5dd653ef01287645f4fc970c-popup

    ======================================================================================================

    Those are all by artist Ygreck (which means the letter "Y" pronounced in French)

    You can view more here: http://ygreck.typepad.com/ (The site is in French)

    ======================================================================================================

    This will be all for me at this location (Mirabel) as I am moving to the North (La Malbaie) on Monday ( A 435 km (270 Miles) trip )

    I should be back online Wednesday!

    Posted 14 years ago #
13. 

    notblocklox
    retired

    That's the problem with cats today. They're too sleepy and adorable.

    Posted 14 years ago #
14. 

    Robert
    StrayCat

    Lol.That must be the laziest cat I've ever seen...

    Posted 14 years ago #
15. 

    Robert
    StrayCat

    The wedding vows.... elegant, beautiful, solemn... but... every once in a while....
    (I bet you will be smiling too)

    Posted 14 years ago #
16. 

    Buckleysmom
    Member

    Robert.....now THAT is funny!!!! Good one! Thanks for sharing.
    Rox

    Posted 14 years ago #
17. 

    Inas
    Member

    Wedding Vows video is very funny indeed - thanks for sharing, Robert.

    Posted 14 years ago #
18. 

    Buckleysmom
    Member

    I received this in an email today....I'm so glad someone besides me has finally noticed this!

    We Must Stop This Immediately! Have you noticed that stairs are
    getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther
    away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
    discover how long our street had become! And, you know, people
    are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in
    whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep
    repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message
    until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?

    I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On
    the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I
    ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that
    she didn't even recognize me.
    I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair
    this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.well,
    REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
    Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking
    life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of
    them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the
    way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
    Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else
    would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or
    20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom
    scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually
    believe the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let
    myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're
    fooling? I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's
    going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too:
    they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one
    could ever find a number in there!

    All I can do is pass along this warning:

    WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
    Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to
    suffer these awful indignities.

    Posted 14 years ago #
19. 

    Robert
    StrayCat

    Yep it sure does look like some sort of conspiracy,BK !
    Try figuring out some of the food labels and reading medicine leaflets...
    Either they're running out of paper or they don't want us to know.LOL.
    And if you figured them out somehow..you sometimes wish you hadn't.
    :)

    Posted 14 years ago #
20. 

    Whiterabbit-uk
    Games Guru

    haha that was great. :0 Exactly how i feel as well. :)

    Posted 14 years ago #
21. 

    copmom
    Member

    Well.. for some reason the print on those leaflets and labels are getting smaller and smaller, and that's WITH glasses. Now I also keep a magnifying glass handy so I can read them!

    Posted 14 years ago #
22. 

    Inas
    Member

    Riddle - why did the lady go outdoors with her purse open? Answer: Because she expected some change in the weather - ha, ha, ha....hyuk, hyuk, hyuk......funny, funny, funny.

    Posted 14 years ago #
23. 

    notblocklox
    retired

    
    .

    http://music-duplicate-remover.idea.informer.com/proj/?mod=one&ia=10666

    Posted 14 years ago #
24. 

    Whiterabbit-uk
    Games Guru

    :) Nice to see this back on the front page. I must resurrect the what is this thread again as well. Just been too busy (well, if you can call playing games to distract myself busy) recently to have the time.

    Posted 14 years ago #
25. 

    notblocklox
    retired

    Do not push the red button

    Take my advice: don't push that da*n button...

    Posted 14 years ago #
26. 

    notblocklox
    retired

    

    Posted 14 years ago #
27. 

    Mammy Suzy
    Member

    You,ve got good ones guys. Very entertaining.

    Posted 11 years ago #
28. 

    Mammy Suzy
    Member

    I have one for you;

    This is the story of four people named:

    Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

    There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it.

    Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

    Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.

    Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job.

    Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody would'nt do it.

    Ultimately, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

    Posted 11 years ago #
29. 

    Mammy Suzy
    Member

    Divert your course
    ------------------

    This is the actual radio conversation of US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

    Radio conversation released by chief of naval operations. 10/10/95.

    CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

    AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a
    collision.

    CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to
    avoid a collision.

    AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

    CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the
    United States Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three
    Cruisers and enormous support vessels.
    I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north.
    I say again, that's one-five degrees north or counter-measures will be
    undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

    CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call...

    Posted 11 years ago #
30. 

    Inas
    Member

    Hi all, this is one of my favorites. Enjoy!

    SENIORS ARE A TREASURE

    Remember, old folks are worth a fortune,
    With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth,
    Stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet,
    And gas in their stomachs.

    I have become older since I last saw you
    And a few changes have come into my life.
    Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal...
    I am seeing five gentlemen every day.

    As soon as I wake up,
    Will Power helps me out of bed,
    After which I go to see John.
    Later Charlie Horse comes along
    And he takes a lot of my time and attention.
    After that Arthur Ritis shows up
    And stays the rest of the day.
    He doesn't like to stay in one place very long,
    So he takes me from joint to joint.
    After such a busy day I'm really tired
    And glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
    What a life!!!

    P.S. The preacher called the other day
    And said at my age I should be thinking
    About the hereafter. I told him,
    "Oh, I do that all the time.
    No matter where I am--in the parlour,
    Kitchen, upstairs, or down in the basement--
    I ask myself, 'What am I here after?'"

    (author unknown)

    Posted 11 years ago #

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