i thought these were cute.
what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile?
robin- lets get in the batmobile.
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[sticky]
Could You Use A Laugh?
(754 posts) (41 voices)-
FreewareFan
MemberThe cartoon was cool.... :-)
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Membero.k. this one should be more up your alley(s):
Stupid Computer Tricks (or stupid people)
- Computer manufacturers are considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
- A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.
- A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.
- A technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer put the disk in, asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and closing the door to his room.
- A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.
- An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
- Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
Posted 16 years ago # -
An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button.
I have a new laptop and cant get it to work, perhaps I'll ring this Tech Support.- I am sure that would be a new giggle
grayloxPosted 16 years ago # -
Anonymous
UnregisteredI posted a link to a site that posts those crazy end users that don't even know their arse from their elbow and the PC liberals came at me with guns-a-blazing.
They complained I should not have posted such a link as it brings shame upon the morons (my word) that phoned up technical support.
Hopefully the liberal, guardian labour voting, does my arse look big in this users don't come here.
They even got vexed when one mentioned that they should not try and use their floppy disk drive and insert their credit/debit card to buy or pay bills on the net as it's not an a.t.m. slot.
I guess some of them tried to.
Here is the link:
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Memberwhile we're on the subject, this just made it's way to my mailbox-
----------------------------------------------
Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?
HelpLine: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.
HelpLine: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
Caller: It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it.
At this point the HelpLine operator realized that the caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.
Posted 16 years ago # -
Just wanted to let you know that the New Homeland Security Bill has passed.
Things will be different now and Internet surfing as you know it will be tracked by what the FBI calls a "non-intrusive method."
http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/
Got this from a serious security forum and usually, there is no room for levity. :)
Posted 16 years ago # -
AmigaFan
MemberThis thread should become sticky or something :D
That Batman joke really made me laugh (and I rarely find jokes that are funny enough to make me really laugh)Thank you Lee for this link: http://rinkworks.com/stupid/
Rather than typing a joke here, I am now (in a selfish manner :) going to read some from that site (preferably all of the content :)Posted 16 years ago # -
sorry, I just had to do it ...best, when you check 2 or 3 of the "songs" at the same time
Posted 16 years ago # -
ROFL...It was to my poor ears! :)
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Memberi don't. but i am jewish and was born and bred in new york city, so i definitely have quite a bit of yiddish in my vocabulary. i've always wanted to learn because it was my grandma & grandpa's "secret" language.
cute and, i think,interesting story: my grandma grew up in the lower east side of manhattan, in the tenements. in their building, everyone was jewish and everyone spoke yiddish. it was the only language my grandma heard and knew. and until she started school, she actually thought she was speaking english.
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Membercool- that's a much trickier language.
being the gamer that i am (i like point and click adventure/escape the room type games best), i could use a keyboard that had japanese (so many of these games are in japanese). but wait, that still wouldn't help me, since i can't read, speak or type in japanese.
oh well.Posted 16 years ago # -
Anonymous
UnregisteredMy Grand Mother (Safta) is Italian Jewish, so I guess my Father is technically Jewish, however I am not due to my Mother is C of E.
I know some Hebrew, mainly insults and hello goodbye and how are you etc..
I know some Yid too. I always thought it was like Spanglish ( English and Spanish), a mix of German and Hebrew.
If you wish to become fluent in a language, learn conversation script, then go and work in that country for two years.
I lived in Germany as a child and it was sure a kick up the backside to learn the native language when wanting to get ice cream and sweets.
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Memberlee- immersion doesn't always work. i lived in israel for 2 years (granted i was 20 and didn't exactly work ;D ), and came away knowing an embarassingly small amount of hebrew (pretty much curse words and salutations). everyone i knew wanted to practice their english with me, so i never really learned. i did get a childrens lesson book and taught myself to read the alphabet and a cool little abc (alef, bet, gimmel) song, but that was pretty much it.
now, 20 years later, i remember some of the curse words. they are mostly the same in arabic, and have come in handy occasionally. it's so much fun (with any language, really), especially as a woman, to overhear an inappropriate comment in another language and be able to respond. oh- the looks on their faces!
Posted 16 years ago # -
funkymom
Memberhere's another one:
Real Users
- Real users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.
- Real users never know what they want, but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.
- Real users never use the Help key.
- Real users never stop asking new options.
- Real users never know what to do with new options.
Posted 16 years ago # -
RunesageMagik
MemberAlthough I have about a million one-liners saved, since this thread's title is a generic GIGGLE, figured the following link might qualify. (at least for those with some financial news savvy)
I love Minyanville's periodic Hoofy & Boo cartoons, timely dry humor spoofs with a dash of mockery. A new cartoon is running today! - http://quote.yahoo.com/?u&d=1d
Note: Yahoo admitted to failing to provide a direct link two months ago and STILL hasn't corrected the oversight, so you have to visit their financial home page and then check on the right side (under videos) to see if a new cartoon's running. That'll not only launch the cosmos video driver but open the archive of older 'toons, too.
Posted 16 years ago # -
Whiterabbit-uk
Games GuruI got stuck on Lee's Rinkwork links for quite some time and had the best giggle i've had in ages; thanks Lee, that was a blast. Also thanks to the rest of you for the amusing anecdotes and links that I've not even had time to check out yet.
This was an excellent idea funkymom. Maybe we should publish the thread when it's been around for a few months. :)
Posted 16 years ago # -
Whiterabbit-uk
Games GuruHey BuBBy, did you get your online name from the GTA series? I decided to reinstall my (bought) copy of GTA as it has an expansion called London 1969, which I've only just discovered also has a free add-on called London 1963. The London 1969 expansion really kicks ass with the music content, a 60 minutes late 60's music fest.Anyway I noticed that the underworld boss in the first release is called Bubby???
or is it quite a common nickname in the US?
I know this isn't the place but just in case you have missed the links to the games which are now free abandonware; both GTA and GTA 2 caused a big stir when they were first released. Here is the home download for these games:
http://rockstargames.com/classics/wmc.html
I ain't got much to offer with respect to funny computer anecdotes, but I thought the following was rather funny, though serious at the same time as it is a true story. It was sent to me by an ex- marine whome I used to play America's Army with in a small clan, who regularily sends me Emails with this sort of stuff in it:
Subject: Retired Green Beret shoots intruder, gets court martial
BREVARD, Jan. 19, 2008 - Retired Army Green Beret James T. (Smokey) Taylor
got his court martial this weekend and came away feeling pretty good about
it.Taylor, at age 79, is one of the oldest members of Chapter XXXIII (The Larry
Thorne Chapter)
of the Special Forces Association. He was placed on trial by fellow Chapter
XXXIII members
under the charge of "failing to use a weapon of sufficient caliber" in the
shooting of an intruder
at his home in Knoxville, TN, in November.The court martial, of course, was very much tongue in cheek. The event
itself was deadly serious.Taylor had been awakened in the early morning hours of November 5, 2007,when
an intruder
broke into his home. He investigated the noises with one of his many weapons
in hand."It was just after Halloween, on Monday morning at 4:30," Taylor said. I
heard this commotion
at the door and grabbed my fishing gun, a little 22 revolver, to see what
was going on. I got to
the front door and this fellow had ripped my security door out of its frame.
He said, 'you're going
to have to kill me. I'm coming in.'"When a warning to leave went unheeded, Taylor brought his .22 caliber pistol
to bear and shot
him right between the eyes."I was about four feet away from him when I shot," Taylor said. "Looking
back now, I'm glad he
didn't die, but that boy had the hardest head I've ever seen. The bullet
bounced right off."The impact knocked the would-be thief down momentarily. He crawled out of
the house then
got up and ran down the street. Taylor dialed 911 and Knoxville police
apprehended the
wounded man about 200 yards away, hiding in a hedgerow.Complicating the case, as well as the court martial, the offender was
released on bail but failed
to appear for his court date. Knoxville police said the man was homeless.
They did not know his whereabouts or why he had been given bail.The charges brought against Taylor by his fellow Green Berets were
considered to be serious.
He is a retired Special Forces Weapons Sergeant with extensive combat
experience during the
wars in Korea and Vietnam."Charges were brought against him under the premise that he should have
saved the county
and taxpayers the expense of a trial," said Chapter XXXIII President Bill
Long of Asheville, NC.The trial was held at the Hampton Inn in Brevard, part of the group's
regularly scheduled quarterly meeting. Long appointed a judge, Bert Bates, a
defense counsel, Jim Hash, and a prosecutor,
Charlie Ponds. All are retired Special Forces non-commissioned officers with
extensive combat
and weapons experience.Ponds outlined the case against Taylor, emphasizing that the citizens of
Knox County were going
to be burdened with significant costs to again apprehend, and then prosecute
and defend the
would-be burglar."Proper choice of a larger caliber gun would have spared the citizens this
financial burden," Ponds said, "while removing one bad guy from the streets
for good. He could have used a .45 or .38.
The .22 just wasn't big enough to get the job done. Hash disagreed. He said
Taylor had done the
right thing in choosing to arm himself with a 22."If he'd used a 45 or something like that the round would have gone right
through the perp, the
wall, the neighbor's wall and possibly injured some innocent child asleep in
its bed. I believe the evidence shows that Smokey Taylor exercised excellent
judgment in his choice of weapons. He
clearly remains to this day an excellent weapons man."Hash then floated a theory as to why the bullet bounced off the perp's
forehead."He was victimized by old ammunition," he said, "just as he was in Korea and
again in Vietnam,
when his units were issued ammo left over from World War II."Taylor said nothing in his own defense, choosing instead to allow his peers
to debate the matter.
The jury, consisting of all the members of the Chapter, discussed the merits
of choosing a larger caliber weapon as well as the obvious benefits to
society of permanently deleting the intruder so
he would never again threaten any private citizen.The other side of the coin, that of accidentally causing injury to a
completely innocent citizen if a
more powerful gun had been used, also gained considerable support.Following testimony from both sides, Judge Bates determined the charges
should be dismissed.
The decision was met with a round of applause. In fact, there was strong
sentiment expressed
that Taylor should receive an award for not only choosing wisely in picking
up the 22, but for
the accuracy of his aim under difficult and dangerous conditions.After the trial Taylor said the ammunition was indeed old and added the new
information that
the perp had soiled his pants as he crawled out the door."I would have had an even worse mess to clean up if it had gone through his
forehead," Taylor said.
"It was good for both of us that it didn't."Meanwhile, back in Knox County, the word is out: Don't go messing with
Smokey Taylor. He just bought a whole bunch of fresh ammo.Tribune Editor Bill Fishburne is a member of the Larry Thorne Chapter XXXIII
of the Special ForcesFideli Certa Merces - Semper Fidelis
Posted 16 years ago # -
qb7894
MemberSorry up on meds with really bad two week flu......Can't help myself....
Rabbits
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.Am Sick Of Elections already....still got more than 6 months to go....
Politics Explained as Cows
SOCIALISM You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
Mottos to Work By
- Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
- If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
- Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
- A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
- Plagiarism saves time.
- If at first you don't succeed, try management.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
- TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Posted 16 years ago #
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